Cohabitation is when a couple in a romantic relationship lives together before getting married.
Over the past several decades, this practice has increased in acceptance, has become normalized (Pew Research Center, 2020), and continues to rise. One study found that more than 75% of people who get married report that they lived together before their wedding (Manning & Westrick-Payne, 2025). For many, it simply feels like a logical step: you test a car by driving it before committing to buying it—so why not test a relationship by living together before committing to marriage?
The truth, however, is that while cohabitation has become widely accepted, research continuously shows it can be harmful to long-term marital health and sustainability. For Bible-believing Christians who know this is outside of God’s plan for our good and holiness, it’s no surprise that living together before marriage is consistently linked to negative outcomes for relationships.
The Research on Cohabitation
Even setting aside God’s reasons against living together before marriage, study after study demonstrates that cohabitation negatively affects marriages for a variety of reasons (Stanley, Rhoades, & Markman, 2006; Kuperberg, 2014). Below are a few key findings.
Cohabitation Diminishes the Value of Marriage
Living together can diminish the value of marriage. With intertwined finances, sexual activity, and shared responsibilities, couples may wonder: how is marriage any different or even special after living together?
Questions arise such as:
- If people can engage in these activities without the lifelong commitment of marriage, why should marriage carry additional legal and spiritual weight?
- Is the legal aspect of marriage simply added “baggage” to an already established and committed relationship?
As a result, when cohabiting partners do get married, they may see divorce as a more viable option because the sanctity of marriage was already diminished beforehand (Stanley et al., 2006).
Cohabitation Creates a Feeling of Being Trapped
Cohabitation can also create a sense of being “locked in,” where couples feel they must marry simply because they live together and their lives are closely intertwined—even when doubts about their partner exist (Stanley et al., 2006).
Cohabitation and Familial History
Higher divorce rates among cohabiting couples are more prevalent among individuals from backgrounds where the sanctity of marriage was not a high priority, perpetuating cycles of marital instability (Kuperberg, 2014).
Biblical Guidance on Marriage and Cohabitation
These study-backed findings demonstrate that God’s design for marriage—two people saving their lives and souls for each other until they are legally and spiritually married—is superior.
While the Bible does not explicitly say, “Do not live together before marriage,” God’s Word provides clear guidance on His design for marriage, starting from the first few pages of Scripture:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, ESV).
This foundational verse highlights:
- Marriage is for adults – it is a man, not a boy, who marries his wife.
- Marriage is between a man and a woman – the biblical model is heterosexual.
- Marriage is the start of a new family – a man leaves his parents to form a new family with his wife.
The instruction is clear: a man goes from living with his family to living with his wife, leaving no room for cohabitation before marriage.
This principle is reaffirmed by Jesus:
“He answered, ‘Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate’” (Matthew 19:4–6, ESV).
Paul also confirms this in his epistles:
“The two shall become one flesh” (1 Corinthians 6:16–17, ESV).
“‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’” (Ephesians 5:31, ESV).
Hebrews reinforces the standard:
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4, ESV).
The “marriage bed” is meant for couples who have made a lifelong commitment to each other. Living together outside of marriage defiles this sacred covenant.
Practical Implications for Christians
- For women: Do not give your boyfriend what belongs only to your husband—your life, body, heart, and soul.
- For men: You are called to provide for and protect your wife. Living together can lead her into sin and devalue the marriage you may one day have and are called to lead.
God’s Design Results in Greater Intimacy and Satisfaction
Studies show that living together before marriage correlates with lower sexual satisfaction and sometimes a faster decline over time (Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2009; Willoughby & James, 2019). Couples who cohabited before marriage reported:
- Less sexual satisfaction initially and over time
- Lower average frequency of sex within marriage
The implications are clear: sex before marriage diminishes the sanctity of sexual intimacy within marriage, reducing the enjoyment it is meant to bring.
Conclusion
Living together before marriage is not only harmful to your future marriage according to secular studies—it is sinful in God’s eyes because it goes against His design. While exceptions exist where cohabiting couples later have happy marriages, Christian couples must ask:
- How can you expect God to bless your wedding day if you are not honoring Him now?
- How can you expect God to bless your life together if you are not honoring Him today?
Cohabitation may seem convenient and logical, but both Scripture and research show that God’s plan for marriage—a holy, lifelong covenant—is far superior. His design provides the best foundation for a lasting marriage, deep and meaningful intimacy, and a joyful life together as you glorify Him.
So what should you do if you are currently living together? The answer is clear: either get married or take the steps needed to live separately until your wedding day.
Having worked with couples who have cohabited, I know this can feel like a burden—especially after you’ve already been living together—but taking this step of faith, no matter how difficult, not only honors God, not only rejects sin and temptation, not only better prepares you for a life and marriage together, and not only builds a stronger testimony, but also shows the Lord that you are serious about submitting to His perfect plan.
If you do this, the Lord will surely bless you and your relationship. So, may you have the courage and strength to follow God’s will!
References
Kuperberg, A. (2014). Age at cohabitation, premarital cohabitation, and marital dissolution: 1985–2009. Journal of Marriage and Family, 76(2), 352–369. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12092
Manning, W. D., & Westrick-Payne, K. K. (2025). Trends in cohabitation prior to marriage (Family Profile No. FP-25-25). National Center for Family & Marriage Research, Bowling Green State University. https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/FP-25-25.html
Pew Research Center. (2020). The decline of marriage and rise of cohabitation. https://www.pewresearch.org
Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2009). The pre-engagement cohabitation effect: A replication and extension of prior findings. Journal of Family Psychology, 23(1), 107–111. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0014358
Stanley, S. M., Rhoades, G. K., & Markman, H. J. (2006). Sliding versus deciding: Inertia and the premarital cohabitation effect. Family Relations, 55(4), 499–509. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2006.00418.x
Willoughby, B. J., & James, S. L. (2019). Marital formation and sexual satisfaction: Longitudinal associations between cohabitation, marriage, and sexual outcomes. Journal of Sex Research, 57(6), 745–759. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31833785/
