The answer may seem obvious, but the question is: Should Christians be kind? Let’s explore.
It seems I can’t go anywhere these days without seeing someone wearing a tie-dyed shirt that says “Be Kind.” I also see bumper stickers that proclaim, in multicolored lettering, “Choose Kindness.”
And being from the Midwest, I’ll confess, when it comes to kindness, I’m a big fan.
Kindness is very popular these days, but with that comes the flip side: being unkind has become a cardinal sin. So let’s take a step back and ask: What is kindness? And what does it mean to be kind—or unkind? Is it more than just being nice?
What Does “Kind” Actually Mean?
The English word kind has its roots in Old English words related to family or kin. It makes sense then that the evolution of the word carries the sense of treating others as family or kin. While etymology isn’t the same thing as definition, it reminds us that kindness comes from a place of meaning. This extends beyond simple politeness.
Today, kind, as an adjective, has synonyms that include compassionate, gracious, and considerate.
The Bible, however, gives us an even fuller picture. Scripture lists kindness as one of the fruits of the Spirit. The Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) are qualities the Holy Spirit produces in the lives of Christians. Therefore, these qualities demonstrate that they are truly Spirit-filled, faithful followers of Jesus.
So, what does it mean to be kind?
The Biblical Definition of Kindness
Kindness, in the Bible, is the English translation of the Greek word chrēstotēs (χρηστότης). In the New Testament era, this word meant meeting people’s real needs in God’s way. That is, a Spirit-produced goodness that seeks another person’s well-being while avoiding harm or being harsh. As you can see, the Greek word we translate as kindness carries much more weight than our modern English word. In contrast, our word often simply means being nice or passively agreeable.
Biblically speaking, kindness is proactively doing good for others. It seeks another person’s genuine good.
A simple Midwest example of kindness is not just smiling at someone but holding the door open for them. It is not just wishing someone gets better when they are not feeling well; it’s bringing a meal to someone who is sick. Kindness isn’t simply feeling goodwill toward others—it’s doing goodwill toward others. Furthermore, if it’s truly good, then it’s good according to God’s standard.
So what this also means is that if biblical kindness is about seeking what is truly good for another person, then we can never separate kindness from truth. Meaning: it’s not kind to lie to someone to avoid hurting their feelings, because true kindness means that sometimes we comfort others and sometimes we lovingly confront or correct them. Again, never from a place of cruelty, but from a desire to seek their good.
This is in contrast to a worldly definition of kindness, which is often about making others feel good through your niceness. On the other hand, a biblical definition means doing good for others in ways the Spirit leads.
With this distinction in mind, this brings us to the opposite: What does it mean to be unkind?
What Does It Mean to Be Unkind?
Because our day and culture has championed a worldly definition of kindness—one that increasingly defines kindness not by what we do for others but by how we make them feel—many now perceive simple disagreement with someone’s decision, opinion, or worldview as unkind. Respectful disagreement under the banner of truth and love is not the opposite of kindness. Clearly, people can be very cruel and hateful in moments of disagreement. However, that is neither Christlike nor Spirit-led.
Yet, if biblical kindness seeks another person’s true good, there are times when kindness requires saying hard things. Speaking the truth in love is not unkind (Ephesians 4:15), even when what we say is unwelcome or unwanted. Sometimes, the kindest thing a person can do is lovingly tell someone what they need to hear rather than what they want to hear. But again, if we don’t do this to seek the good of the other, it’s not kindness. If someone speaks simply to win a debate, shut another person down, or intentionally make them feel bad, that’s not kindness. Kindness may involve doing and saying hard things. Nevertheless, we must always do it for the good of another.
“But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy…” — Titus 3:4–5
Our kindness should reflect the kindness of God, which, as we see, flows from love and mercy and aims at our ultimate good.
Called to Godly Kindness
If I could summarize, our world has reduced kindness to simply accepting all people without qualification. This also means without questioning or challenging their beliefs or assumptions.
But God calls Christians to a godly kindness—acts of service that seek a person’s good without cruelty or malice. Even so, these acts must flow from the Spirit of love and truth.
In this sense, God calls us to be kind.
