The 6-part Deconstruction of the 6-Part Dimension of Biblical Marriage is nearing completion.
The Bible has given us an outline for marriage: One Man, One Woman, For Life. A short little statement that outlines so much.
While the Bible records the highs and lows of the human condition, we see healthy marriages like Ruth and Boaz, but we also see people of faith abandon God’s design and engage in the practices of surrounding culture, such as polygamy (like King David). No design for marriage other than the original is ever sanctioned or promoted in Scripture. One man plus one woman for life is the assigned, prescribed, instructed and defined model of God’s plan for marriage as seen in Genesis, the teachings of Jesus, and within the New Testament.
Again, “One man, one woman, for life” is the principle laid down in Genesis, it’s the model that Jesus affirms, and it’s the one that the New Testament continues to teach and instructs us to follow.
As we look at God’s design for marriage, this definition has at least 6 dimensions. And yes, it may seem silly to break it down like this, but at this point let’s not assume anything or take anything for granted.
1. Marriage is Life-Long:
Marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman for life, meaning as long as both partners are living.
2. Marriage is for a Man and a Woman:
Marriage is meant to be between two people of opposite sex: one man, one woman.
3. Marriage is for Two:
Marriage is meant to be between two adults of opposite sex: not self-marriage, or between three or more people.
4. Marriage is for Adults:
Marriage is meant to be between two adults, as opposed to one being a child, or both being children.
5. Marriage is for Monogamy:
Marriage is meant to be between two people of opposite sex in an exclusive relationship, meaning monogamy.
6. Marriage is for People:
Marriage is meant to be between two adult humans, as opposed to marriage with an animal or an object.
But this structure for marriage has seen continued decline – and the circle of destruction is nearing completion, here’s how:
The 6-part deconstruction of Biblical Marriage:
1. Divorce: The deconstruction of marriage being “for life”
First, (while biblically permitted for a few instances) divorce has become much more normalized, accepted, celebrated, and promoted. To quote one comedian, Elayne Boosler said, “I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.” This joke is a cultural commentary that exposes so much about our acceptance of divorce and the continued stigmatization of singleness.
Because uncharitable voices often speak up at this moment, let me say that the Christian message is never for a person to stay in an abusive relationship. No one is saying to stay in a marriage where the other partner has forsaken the covenant vows or is abusing you – Jesus isn’t saying that; I’m not staying that. Let’s move on.
2. Gay Marriage: The deconstruction of marriage being “one man, one woman”
With 2015’s Supreme Court ruling on Obergefell v. Hodges, which made gay marriage legal, what our culture has accepted is the notion that gender/sex is irrelevant for marriage, but did anyone stop to ask that if gender of the people no longer matters for marriage, then why does the number of people matter. If two men can love each other and get married, then why not three? This, coincidently enough, leads to number three.
3. Polyamory: The deconstruction of marriage being between two people: “one man, one woman”
With no clear direction, progress becomes a path to chaos. Polyamory (meaning “many loves”) is on the rise and is the next step in our culture’s “progress” away from biblical marriage. Again, if gender doesn’t matter for marriage, then why does number? At the other end of this is the notion of self-marriage, called sologamy. You can find out about that trend HERE.
4. Pedophilia: The deconstruction of marriage being between two adults
The signs of wanting to begin normalizing the perversion of pedophilia is found in efforts to minimize the (rightfully) vilified name of pedophiles with a much more inclusive sounding “minor attracted persons.” Add to this our culture’s increasing acceptance of speaking to younger children about sexuality, and with progressives’ unwillingness to give a clear definition of marriage: the next hideous step to destroy Christian marriage is to remove the notion that marriage must be between two consenting adults, but this will happen firstly through the normalization of pedophilia and the acceptance of those wanting sexual relations with children.
California passed a controversial bill that led many to believe pedophilia was now legal in that state. While it is still illegal to have sex with a minor in California, the bill gives discretion to the judge over such cases as to whether or not to put someone on the sex offender list who has uncoerced sex with a person as young as 14, as long as there is no more than a 10-year age gap. Meaning, at the far end, a 24-year-old can have ‘consensual’ sex with a 14-year-old and not be on the sex offender list if that is what a judge decides. For whatever this bill is, this is a step in a direction, but not a good direction.
So that I am not accused of misrepresenting this bill, you can find out more here:
5. Open Marriages: The deconstruction of marriage being exclusively between the two married partners
Not just speaking of infidelity done in secret, open marriages are those marriages that freely allow each other’s partners to engage in romantic as well as sexual relationships with other people.
Open marriages are on the rise as seen in this CNBC published article explaining how to have an open relationship.
6. Zoophilia, Objectum Sexuality, etc.: The deconstruction of marriage being between two adult humans
This may seem far-fetched because the marriages between people and animals is the stuff of mythology, right? With no defined end in sight, where else can our culture go than this? With the LGBTQ alphabet continuing to grow, it’s understandable how people can assume this depravity is on the horizon.
But wait, isn’t there more to be said about Christian marriage?
There are elements to Christian marriage that we could definitely add, such as how marriage is to reflect the gospel or we could talk about the scary words of submission or headship. While these things are definitely not part of the secular ethos of modern marriage, I guess a cross analysis of Christian marriage vs cultural marriage in regard to these topics will just have to wait.
But wait, I object to the whole notion of this article!
If you find yourself on the other side of this debate, disagreeing with what is stated, then just so we are clear on what we are talking about, I would just ask for a once-and-for-all definition of marriage. But my guess is it’ll be something like, “Marriage is for each generation or society to define,” or, “Marriage is whatever those who want to get married want it to be.” To which I would say, then you are saying there is no universal definition.
So, what are Christians to do now?
What can the Christian do in response? Well, firstly, the Christian can calm down and return to a simple life of worshipping and following the commands of God. The Christian can get married according to God’s plan, raise a godly family that is involved in their local church, love their neighbor well, and be a better example to people around us than the example they are getting from secular society. The Christian can share God’s truth as not just a black and white rule to follow, but as a better and more fulfilling plan for human flourishing.
The Christian can be aware of what is happening in the world, and the Christian can show the world something better. That’s what the Christian can do as we adhere to and uphold God’s beautiful design of marriage.
