Christian egalitarianism teaches that since all people are equal in value before the Lord—a theology all Christians affirm, since every person is made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) and since the Bible describes a priesthood of all believers — there should be no gender-based distinction in the roles God has outlined for the church. The word egalitarian comes from the French and, before that, the Latin, which means equal, and, because of their equality, egalitarianism teaches that the roles of pastor and elder are open to both men and women.
The counterview is called complementarianism. Just as with the egalitarian view, complementarians view all people, men and women, as equal in worth and value before the Lord, both made completely and fully in the image of God, affirm the priesthood of all believers, and even believe all the gifts of the spirit are open to all believers, men and women alike. Where egalitarian derives from the word equal, complementarian derives from the word complete. Here is where we see a key difference: That men and women are distinct and they complement each other—they complete each other—and thus, when it comes to the church and the home, biblically speaking, God has given men and women certainly some overlapping roles, but also some distinct roles. In the church, one of the most prominent of these is that the roles of pastor and elder are reserved for men, for biblically qualified men.
I wanted to share why I’ve come to embrace complementarianism. But first, some context….
I grew up in a mainline tradition, which is egalitarian. As a teenager, I came to Christ in an egalitarian church. My first ministry job interview was with a senior pastor who was a woman. My first paid ministry position was at a church within an egalitarian denomination. My first great Christian mentor is egalitarian. I attended and graduated from an egalitarian college and earned my graduate degree from an egalitarian seminary affiliated with an egalitarian denomination. I was first ordained in an egalitarian alliance, literally making my ordination vows next to two women who were doing the same. I have had countless meaningful experiences with Christians who hold to egalitarian theology.
And so, after all of this positive history with the egalitarian view, why did I become complementarian? The answer is simple: because that’s what I believe the Bible clearly teaches.
After studying the ancient languages at both the undergraduate and graduate levels, I have become even more convinced of the complementarian understanding of the role of pastor and elder—not only by the overarching pattern of men being given the responsibility of sacrificial leadership in both the home (Ephesians 5:23; 1 Corinthians 11:3) and the church (Titus 1:5–6)—but also by one verse in particular.
In addition to the thrust of the biblical teaching and direction, one verse in particular has affirmed and confirmed for me that complementarianism is the biblical view, not egalitarianism. No, it’s not 1 Timothy 2:12, as some might expect.
1 Timothy 2:12 says, “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.”
That’s a loaded verse that should not be read without context. But regardless, that’s not the verse that made me complementarian. Rather, it is 1 Timothy 3:5. In this passage, Paul is telling Timothy how to discern who should serve as an elder (I’ll include the preceding verse as well for context):
1 Timothy 3:4–5, [4] He (the prospective elder) must manage his own household well, with all dignity, keeping his children submissive, [5] for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?
In this passage on the qualifications for elders, the Bible clearly connects leading the church with leading the home, and leading the home is an undeniably male responsibility, that of the godly husband and father. I cannot get around this. This passage became the proverbial “straw that broke the camel’s back,” for me – leading me to embrace complementarianism, even after a lifetime of positive experiences with those from an egalitarian theology who love Jesus and have loved me.
Again, complementarianism holds the same foundational belief about men and women as egalitarianism—that all people are made in the image of God and are equal in value before Him. The difference is that complementarianism affirms that God intentionally created the binary of male and female so that we might complement one another in our God-given roles within both the church and the home. The final level of leadership under God is reserved for godly men, because this role also comes with the burden of sacrificial protection: when evil is at the door, when the enemy strikes, it is the man who must act as defender and shield, sacrificially laying down his life for his wife and home, just as Christ did for his bride and church (John 10:11, Romans 5:8, Ephesians 5:25, 1 Peter 2:24). This is the burden of leadership, which is why the final level of leadership in the church, given to the elders as under shepherds submitting to God, is a role given to not just men, but godly and biblically qualified men.
I have no animosity toward egalitarians. I owe a great deal to Christians who hold that theology. I have been loved well, ministered to, and educated by them. While I do not believe this is a salvation issue, I do believe it is a biblical one—and therefore must be taken seriously.
“But what about spiritual gifts?” I often get asked. That’s a great question, and here’s how I respond: All spiritual gifts are open to all believers regardless of their sex; when Paul describes the gifts in the New Testament, he gives no gender qualification, but possessing a gift does not necessarily mean holding a particular role. For example, a person with the gift of teaching is not automatically called to preach every Sunday. I believe women can absolutely have the gifts of teaching, leadership, and administration. I am deeply thankful for the women in our church who are using their gifts of teaching and administration to do incredible things for God’s kingdom.
I will tell you that, while I have been complementarian for a while now, it was not an easy journey. I wrestled with theology coming to this conviction. I have wondered how I could arrive at this view after such a rich history with the alternative one. I have studied all the relevant passages, listened to all opposing arguments, and read the best scholarship from both perspectives. I have also spoken with women on both sides of this theological debate. Yet, at the end of the day, I must stand on what I believe God’s Word clearly teaches.
For me, the clarity of Scripture on this issue is unavoidable. To adopt a hermeneutic, that is, a way of interpreting Scripture, that allows women to serve in the role of elder in the church is to adopt a hermeneutic that—when applied consistently to other matters of gender, it—ultimately collapses the male–female distinction in God’s created order (Genesis 1:27; Matthew 19:4; Romans 1:26–27). And something like marriage can no longer be defended as that which is for only one male and one female, for if gender does not matter for roles in a church, why would it matter for roles in a marriage? There is a reason all progressive Christians are egalitarian, but none are complementarian. Surely God created us male and female for more than reproductive purposes but allows the beauty of maleness and femaleness to decorate all matters of God’s created order.
I am forever thankful for the people in my life who have shown me the true love of Christ, even as they hold to an egalitarian theology. I will not speak a word against them. Yet I must hold to a theology that stands in contrast to theirs—because if they taught me anything, it is to pursue a true faith in Christ.
